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MY NOTHINGNESS AND IMPOTENCY BEFORE GOD

2006-03-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Down and Out
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

I knew of a couple many years ago who had been married and lived together for almost 5 years already but had not bore a child yet. They had really wished to have a son or a daughter but time did not favor to have it. Nevertheless, they had not lost hope. They had persistently begged the Lord until the time of the fulfillment of this dream came. They finally had a son.
The birth of the child was thought to be joyous and in high spirits. But at the back of this festive and delightful event came the inconvenience and nuisance because the child was born weak and sickly. As a matter of fact, there was even a year when this infant was confined in a hospital almost every month.
The couple had become tired and had almost surrendered watching vigilantly this infant day and night, finding money for the payment of hospital charges and expenses and etc. The couple thought this child would not last longer. But the mercy of the Lord had made this child survived.
The infant grew then as a little child and later an ordinary adolescent. Everything was then very ordinary and plain. Nothing was extraordinary. He lived a simple lifestyle in his household. He went to school like any other ordinary students. At times he thought that that was the only road of life he’d be walking. But when the day of Lord came inviting him to take an extraordinary walk of life which was to work into His vineyard, a change was made. It was a memorable moment of shift for him. It was a gift, a blessing and a grace of being called. However, at times seeing and feeling the unworthiness, he wondered how all those things happened. What was certain then was God’s hands working and trying to arrange his life.
Today, the following chapters of the life of this individual are still left unread and unopened. God’s scheme for this individual is not finished up till now. Let’s just wait.
I decided to start my reflection with this story for the tenth step article talked about accepting one’s innate nothingness, poverty, and impotence, as well as acknowledging God’s presence, abundant love, and power.
If we are to look every parcel of the life of the man in the story above, from his birth to the day he was called by God, we could really say that the words of Edward Schillebeeck, expressing that there is a human impotence which God alone can relieve, somehow resonates. Everything in him comes from God. As a matter of fact, his birth would have been impossible if not because of God. More so, if not because of God’s mercy he would have had died of sickness. Finally, if not because of God’s love he would have had remained in their unpopular barrio as an ordinary guy or, perhaps one of the bystanders on sidewalk drinking liquor or gazing and whistling at girls passing by. So to say if not because of God, perhaps he could be as good as nothing. He had nothing to boast himself. He’s just a mere ephemeral creature.
It is then important for this man to recognize his nothingness and poverty before an Almighty God. He must humbly admit that he cannot go on with life without God. Even as he carries out the demands of the gospel, he has to confess his limitations and weaknesses. He has to entrust and submit to the Lord his flaws, failures, and imperfections. He must let go of his own self, pride, and arrogance. He must learn to accept his intrinsic poverty rather than become a slave of anxiety.
It is in emptying himself that he’ll be filled with grace. It is in letting go of his own desires and interests that he’ll possess blessing. It is when he becomes powerless that he becomes strong.
I know the man in the story has already been trying to his best to live out the challenge and demands of this tenth step, to make a complete surrender and total submission of himself to God. He has always regarded his story as one of the reminders of his nothingness, poverty in body and spirit. It as well reminded him of God’s constant presence and unconditional love. As of now, he has already seen and known the importance of self-emptying to grow in faith, love and charity both in God and His people. But the most challenging of all is the carrying out of it in his daily life.
Thus, I humbly ask you, readers, to pray for him. We have already reached and have read the tenth step, the final step article but his journey has not ended yet. Faith may either increase or decrease on the process. Hence I plead for your constant prayers that he would remain steadfast and all the more grow mature in faith. Please pray for him.
Please pray for me, the one whom the couple were wishing for almost 5 years, the sickly and weak infant but later made by God strong, and the ordinary guy who was called and made special by God. I’ll pray for you too.

THE UNIQUENESS OF CHRISTIAN FAITH

2006-03-02T17:39:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Christ Encounter
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

"Apart from Jesus we know nothing of God."

The article has given me an important and essential point that the goal of our Christian faith is no other than Jesus Christ himself. Making Christ the center and summit of our Christian faith really creates a big difference. The previous steps were preparations for this ninth step. Perhaps, those steps; escaping from false self to true self, seeing through the system, escaping from wrong questions, wondering mind and the rest, could as well exist in other religious sects. It may be part of the religious discipline or spiritual journey of Muslims, Buddhists, or any other religions. Now, what’s our unique mark that distinguishes us then from other parties of believers? Do we have to end only at the eighth step of our journey? If so, then it would be deficient and unsatisfactory. It would only leave us a perpetual pointless or useless searching. We must therefore set a foot for a further step, a pace which parts our way from other sects. Our faith must moreover move to a certain end, an end with the person who freely and generously lived with the humanity two thousand years ago bearing and fulfilling the plan of saving the world from the destruction of sin.
The step 9 article explicitly shows the uniqueness and matchlessness of our Christian faith. It truly displays the great difference. It is because it is putting at the center of faith journey a no-ordinary person who is Jesus Christ the only-begotten Son of God and the Savior of humanity.
He’s not just a great religious leader, teacher or prophet who had existed in history. But He is the only Son of God, the foundation of our Christian faith. He is the visible image of the invisible God the Father. He is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Him; John 14:6 says.
That’s why Ruth Burrows was able to say; “Apart from Jesus we know nothing of God.”
This line presupposes encountering and experiencing Christ which consequently would let us identify and know who God is. Knowing God is not done by mere rationalization or analysis of our intellectual faculty. It is because we are dealing with a person and not an idea.
Thus, we really have to set a time to encounter and know God. How else and where else then shall I know God deeply. Certainly it’s through and in Christ who has been making himself present and welcoming in every celebration of the Holy Eucharist that the humanity would attain eternal happiness in His Heavenly Kingdom.
As I have reflected on this article trying to seek the message of the Lord, I have found out that what is then asked from me to unceasingly be faithful to attend Holy Eucharist regularly and regard every celebration of it as an avenue or opportunity to deepen my knowledge and intimacy with Him

BEING LOVED TO LOVE

2006-02-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article Entitled Experience of the Spirit
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

The article quoted Karl Rahner’s line of thought that every person has an inescapable, even if unrecognized, experience of God. It mentioned several personalities like St. Theresa of Avila, St Thomas Aquinas, St. Augustine and Lonergan who in their life have unique and extraordinary religious experiences, which lead them to faith.
Hence, before I begin my reflection on the eighth step, allow me first to share with you my personal experience with the God.
I had been wondering why I was moved to tears during celebrations of mass every so often not until I shared it with my spiritual director. It’s either because of a line in a song and of the words in the homily or gestures and prayers.
Undeniably, it’s the work of the Holy Spirit which I most often can neither explain nor exhaust out the depth and entirety of it. All I have inside is the feeling of being loved, being accepted, being forgiven and healed. So to speak, I am seeing and experiencing a loving God.
What I caught sight of in the article of Gallagher about the experience of Spirit is the importance of a religious experience like this as a pointer to also grow in faith. Of course, we cannot make it by our own effort alone. We must ask God to give us the grace of having it. It comes to us then as a gift either in a dramatic or in a simple manner. It’s not a human affair therefore but it’s God’s business.
But my point here is that at times a religious experience like this is essential as a source of our strength in our journey to a total submission of oneself to God. Of course, God knows that it’s our need and that He would certainly not say no and refuse to let us experience his presence. What is only ask of us is to be able discern and know the will and plan of God whenever this experience comes along our way.
Looking at my own experience, I do believe that the wisdom and meaning of this religious experience of being loved is certainly connected with what I had shared in my reflection on the step 7 article which was about a call of conscience to love others. In my own realization and discernment, I am strongly convinced that God must have intentionally graced me to make me feel this way so that it would be just easier for me to love others, to touch their lives. As for me this serves as an important foundation of my journey towards authentic and mature faith, the experience of being loved by an Almighty Father. This would then become an essential dynamic force as I carry out the demands and calls of faith.
As far as my experience is concern, most often this religious experience drives me to love and value my vocation, a call to love others. This is a worth-treasuring moment that God has made for me so that as I move step by step to faith, I could faithfully and generously live a life in the ministry of others. In addition, the reason why every now and then I experience this feeling of being loved is, so that I could as well share and extend this love to others. It’s a constant reminder which comes to me once in a while. It would then be a movement from being loved to love.

A LIFE FOR OTHERS

2006-02-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

A Reflection Paper on the Article entitled Calls of Conscience
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

It was a rainy Sunday when I ran with great excitement and joy ignoring even the weight of the bag I carried just to arrive at home from a long-distance trip. It’s because I was away for 3 days and 2 nights.
As I reached the doorstep of our house, the joyous feeling I had was a bit suppressed for seeing a rugged woman sitting beside her pitiful-looking blind husband. So, instead of sharing immediately to my parents about my 3-day-and-2-night experiences, I silently asked them who those persons were; are they our relatives?
My mother made her reply in a whisper that she actually did not know them. She was just moved to pity as she saw them outside the Church trying to resist and tolerate the cold blows of the wind and chilly drops of rain.
Few hours later, I initiated to talk with the couple so as not to make them feel alienated. Of course, I asked them questions like; what’s your name, where do you come from, and the like. So to say, we exchanged sincere and candid words making it a meaningful and conversation.
The most striking and heart-gripping moment in our conversation was the sharing of the blind man’s feeling and sentiment concerning his physical defect. He uttered these words to me sincerely: “Dong, you know it’s really hard to live as a blind. You know, it is sometimes very heartbreaking and painful to accept why I was born like this. Sometimes I think it’s better to die than to live a life like this, a miserable life which is always at the mercy of others. What could then give me consolation are the kindheartedness and thoughtfulness of the people like what your mother has shown unto me. Honestly, it’s in your generous heart that I come to feel God’s presence and recognize his assistance despite this wretched and gloomy situation. Thus, all I hope is that you become one those persons who are willing to extend their helping hand to persons like us”
It’s so far for me an unforgettable experience telling me of what my vocation to the priesthood is all about. It’s for me meaningful because this happened after a three-day-and-two-night entrance examination which I took at Saint Peter Seminary. It’s enlightenment-filled experience, a call of my conscience inspiring me to say that the poor blind and the rugged woman are truly my relatives or brethren in Christ.
I believe such event was no ordinary instance that had merely happened in the history of my life. Rather, it was part of my vocation story, my faith journey. It was purposely made by God for me to open my heart, to enlighten my mind to see a wider perspective of the great plan that He wants me to do for his people. It’s a sort of a reminder that my vocation is primarily not my own but for others. I am called to this life not cater my personal desires and wishes but the needs of the poor. I do have a special life, a life destined for others.

IT IS INSIDE...

2006-02-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the article entitled The Heart’s Hunger
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

As I was reading the article, an unforgettable comment, from my classmate in high school when he knew that I planned to enter the seminary, came into my mind. She said: “ikaw magpari kabugoy nimo!!!” I was a bit insulted by this remark for I knew that at some point there was a truth on what my classmate was saying. Nevertheless, it was a worth-reflecting one. Consequently, it tempted me to doubt whether my decision was right or not. I kept on thinking and deliberating for so many times whether priesthood was really my desire. I myself couldn’t even believe that I’d made a plan to enter into priestly or religious life knowing my unworthiness to enter into the priestly life.
It was for me a difficult situation for I was deeply haunted and troubled by the issue of unworthiness. I was tempted not to pursue priesthood anymore and shift to another walk of life for I did not really know where to find my self in such a complicated situation. The only thing I had known was that there was this something in my heart which kept on pushing and driving me to heed to the call to priesthood.
I believe this thing that has been inside me, is the answer to the ‘whys” in the history of my vocation to primarily become a man of faith. This has been the steering drive that keeps me going in my stay here in the seminary. This has been the energy and strength that keeps me pursuing to follow Christ’s footsteps despite the difficulties and hassles that may come along the way. This has been the force that would let me wake up early in the morning to attend the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. This has been the reason why I have to sacrifice studying at night, read copious sets of articles and books, and make paper assignments and requirements. This has been the dynamo which makes me to be patient and faithful as I teach catecheses to my students in my apostolate area. This is the verve which makes me say yes to a life far from my beloved ones.
I know this priestly vocation is truly a life of sacrifice. It is a life of greater responsibilities and challenges. It is a life that needs patience and perseverance for it sometimes make us feel down and tired especially when pressures and crises come. So to say, this is not an easy life.
However, what is mysterious and perhaps ironical is the fact that I love this kind of life and I am happy with this kind life. And I always regard this kind of life, living a life with Christ, as a gift, an extraordinary blessing which has made special and blessed for I know and firmly believe that it is in this way of life that God would grant me his promise of love and assurance of salvation.
Of course, my heart’s desire and longing is certainly not a product of my own labor, but primarily of the powerful God, who must have given the grace and have driven me to see the emptiness and nothingness in me and ignited me to keep the flaming desire to find and know more intimately as the only the person who can fill the empty vacuum in me, the special someone in my life whom my heart could find a rest, someone who must have called to be one of his companions and carriers of the good news of salvation despite my unworthiness.

A REFLECTIVE OR WONDERING MIND IS NEEDED

2006-02-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Wondering Mind
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

Every now and then I asked myself questions like; why do people cannot just leave or set aside their work for an hour or two to attend mass? Why do some men resort to liquors or alcohol when problems come in their way? Why do some students resort to sell their flesh to procure money for their tuition fee?
I do not really know what droved them to do such things. But as I perceive it, it is because of the worries and anxieties that they might die without having food to eat. As regards people resorting to wrong solutions, they want to refresh themselves from pressures and problems in life or they do not want to face their difficulties and worries in life.
This is a rampant trend which I myself have witnessed in our society nowadays, a lifestyle which is sometimes characterized as self-autonomy, or a mere personal struggle, and an effort to face life’s hardships and difficulties independently from God.
In my reflection, the step 6 article somehow gives me a clear reason and explanation why all these things happen and why do people do such things. To directly say, all of these are without a doubt caused by an unreflective or wondering mind.
Certainly saying, I am not exempted from this central issue. I have fallen into this for several times in my life. As a matter of fact, there were times in my life when problems came (family concerns for instance) and I resorted to wrong solutions. I tended to worry so much and immediately solved them by my own capacity. I tended to work them on my own right away and forgot to distance myself from the depressing milieu of pressure or situation of crises and gloom. Consequently, I could not see anymore the deep meaning and implication in such a situation for my mind was clouded and fogged up by my own plans and schemes on what courses of action I must take.
I admit I lacked a wondering or reflective which as it were would help me pick up all the scattered debris of experiences I had both the pleasant and painful ones, and gather them into a one coherent whole and find the common pattern in them which would subsequently reveal its deepest meaning.
Socrates in his own words asserted: “an unreflected life is not worth living.” This was the saying which came into my mind as I read the article on the wondering mind. Honestly speaking, the article all the more affirmed the importance of a reflective mind to my life as a seminarian to be able to see things in a wider perspective. Having a reflective attitude, moreover, would lead me to right decisions and right direction in life even when difficult times come through my way.
It is then through a reflective mind having every event of my daily existence as the springboard that we are able to acknowledge that there must be someone who must have purposely created us, someone who must all-knowing and supreme, someone who must be the source of every thing we have and the world has, someone we rely for help and assistance especially when we are down, and someone who must be necessary, central and significant in my life.
This in turn would remind me of my life’s purpose, personal commitment and responsibility as a created individual to my personal God who is loving and merciful. I believe this whole framework would be very helpful as I journey to become a man of faith.

I HAVE KNOWN A LOVING GOD

2006-01-30T17:15:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Escaping From Strange Gods
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

After having read the various versions of false gods in step 4 article by Gallagher, I was moved to reflect and question whether all our classroom studies and discussions on Christian theology had helped me know God rightly and intimately. This question arose in me for I was a bit struck by a certain line in the article which states; “even in those who are aware of the true God intellectually, such a dichotomy is surprisingly common: their hearts and feelings and spontaneous reactions have not caught up with the truth of their minds.” In other words, it is not impossible then that sometimes the acquired truths in our mind remain only in the cognitive level but do not really sink into the emotional part in us. Thus, when the actual experience comes where spontaneous reactions and feelings arise, acquired truth in the mind is nowhere to be seen and is not reflected on it.
As I was evaluating and pondering on our scholastic or academic way of knowing God with my experiences in life considered, I was made to affirm that it truly helped me in such a way that it slowly made my faith and trust in him grow.
Indeed, to compare my college years with my life now especially as regards spiritual aspect of priestly formation, I could in a way say that I have grown. A typical example of this is my increasing desire and attitude towards the Holy Eucharist.
Before, I was forced to wake up early in the morning to attend mass for fear that I might be caught by the formators and be sent out from the seminary. But when vacation time came, I often thought it was my rest period, a time free from any obligations and commitments. That was why I often skipped to attend masses and preferred to sleep at home, have fun with my friends, etc.
So to say, it was out of fear of the seminary rules that I went to mass. Holy Eucharist was therefore not valued much.
But now, I slowly regard it as part of the daily things I ought to do as a seminarian. And greater than this, I treat it as an essential part of me, making it as the source of my strength and courage in carrying out the daily Christian calls and challenges, and making it as the summit of my struggles and efforts on my journey towards becoming an authentic believer and follower of Jesus Christ.
I do believe that this growth I now have is primarily not a product or fruit of my own effort and will to make it but it is the Holy Spirit’s power and guidance working in me initiating even my promise and intention to make a change from an old self to a new one.
More so, I do have the confidence that inspiration and grace of the Holy Spirit is working in our classroom discussions and instructions. It is in the classroom that I have learned and known God as a loving and merciful God. I need to attend the holy Eucharist everyday not because of the rules and structures of the seminary but as way of thanking him for the goodness he shown to me. Despite the difficulties and problems I have, I have never imagined a God who is cruel but a loving one. I believe classroom discussions, instructions, as well as spiritual direction serve as supplementary realities in the seminary which helps me grow in that sense.

FAITH IS A GIFT

2006-01-29T22:19:00.002-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Escaping from the Wrong Question
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

“I do not seek to understand in order to believe. I shall not understand unless I believe.”
As for me, this is the most striking part in the Step 3 article. This shows the power of faith; that it is in faith that we understand God and His will more deeply. Moreover, from this saying I see strong relation between faith and revelation, that both of them are two inseparable realities. On the one hand, authentic faith is a prerequisite and somehow must come first in order that we could understand deeply the truth about the revelation of God. But of course, to understand is not our primary concern for believing. A deeper grasp or understanding of God and His will is only secondary. It only follows. You don’t have to expect it for it is a gift or grace freely given as we are on the way to our ultimate goal in life. On the other hand, revelation must be made or be done first so that faith would evoke. In other words, there is no faith without revelation. Faith therefore springs up from revelation. Of course, all these are the works of the God and Holy Spirit.
In addition, the in-quotation words of St. Anselm above somehow corrects the wrong application of the famous saying which is; “to see is to believe”, into religious sphere or into the context of faith. Some would claim that the degree of realness or authenticity of a thing would only depend on the proof and evidences that would support it. In other words, a thing can only be real true if they can be proven, seen or grasped by my human senses.
This framework of the mind would only fall short in the realm of faith. Faith seeks no proofs or evidences in order to believe. The reality of God is always a mystery. We cannot just reduce the truth of His existence, presence, and will according to our human way, scheme or standard of attaining reality. Thus, by our human minds and effort alone, we could never reach the whole truth about God. We could only attain it if God would grant us the gift of understanding and wisdom. Thus, the truth about God’s existence does not depend on our human intellect. Whether we know it or not, God’s presence and will is always true and real.
Faith then is in a way different from the scientific realm or human standards of grasping reality. We cannot come to a fuller understanding of God’s mysterious truth unless we are in relationship with Him. We cannot just make God like a specimen to be experimented or merely an object to be analyzed. Thus, this demands a commitment to establish an intimate relationship with him and to put him at the center our lives.
In my own reflection, this article reminds me of my limitations, boundaries, restrictions of my identity as a human being. This as well gives me worth-reflecting point about my nothingness in front of God. This challenges me to be humble enough and be disposed to accept the reality that I can never be like God nor exceed His power. I can never manipulate the truth of Himself by the mere power of my intellect for He is the all-knowing Creator who is even the source of my life, strengths and capacity of my body, ability and power of my heart, and the aptitude of my intellect.
Lastly, this reminds me then that it is likewise in God that I become someone and I gain dignity, value and worth in me because of God. Because of His great love, he formed me in His image and likeness. He has chosen me to be his own. He has given me this vocation. Thus, I must be thankful for all of these.

STOP, LOOK AND REFLECT...

2006-01-29T22:19:00.001-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled Seeing through the System
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

The trend of this modern time is indeed very powerful and perhaps, if we put it in a negative way, dangerous if we are not conscious of it morally. A life of simplicity, sacrifice, and the like is sometimes forgotten and perhaps do not even exist in the minds of most of young men and women nowadays. This is due to the comfort and luxury that this present day is offering us. Even churchmen are sometimes never exempted to this.
I remember the sharing or observation of an old priest in our diocese when I and my co-seminarian were assigned in his parish during one of the summer exposures. He said to us: “some priest nowadays sometimes forget what priesthood is all about. To become a priest is to live a simple kind of life. It is not all about earning money and living luxurious lifestyle. But due to the strong flowing current of modernization, some are pulled and drowned in it. Some priests do not even plan anymore for the development of the parish but would rather focus their attention as to where will they get money to buy new and latest cellphones, cars, motorcycles, guns, etc. So this is the lifestyle that some or even most of priests are living nowadays, reflect on this for you might be one of them if you don’t care about these issues. ”
I was stunned for the bottom line of his sharing was directed to us. I then immediately thought that the old priest was too traditional, conservative, and idealistic. But as I kept on thinking and reflecting on it, I realized that there was a truth on what the priest was saying. Indeed to live a simple kind of life and be able to stop, look and reflect on the existing trend in our society as to whether they conform to the message of the Gospel are the things that priest ought to do.
In addition, those striking words of that old priest are for me challenging and worth-remembering for my future ministry. This would serve as a reminder for me to be contented with what is only needed to give praise, glorify and worship God and serve the people. Moral theology has tackled or St Ignatius has said that there is nothing wrong with acquiring material things as long as they help us in our worship to God but if they hinder us in fulfilling our primary purpose, then they must be set aside or be deserted.
Thus as a seminarian, I see here the value of reflection to be able to know deeply what is happening in the society and to be able to weigh every trend as to whether they coincide to what Christ has taught us or not. It is in this way then that I cannot be pulled easily by the blinding trend of time. Eventually, it is in this way that I could make the message of the Gospel alive in the present society countering against the immoralities, injustices, and sinfulness that modernization may be bringing or leading to people.
Therefore, reflection leads to a greater awareness of the moral flow of our society. Consequently, a deep awareness of what is happening within our society is also a great help that we grow in faith because it is through it that we know what are helps and blocks to a mature faith. And knowing them leads and helps act what is necessary to grow in faith and live our faith concretely, a faith which extends to others and not just within the boundaries of personal lives.

AWARENESS TO ONESELF: A STEP TO AUTHENTIC FAITH

2006-01-29T22:19:00.000-08:00

A Reflection on the Article entitled The First Freedom: From False to True Self
By: Jeremy M. Tuburan

“If I am to become free of the false self, I have first to become aware of a flux within.” This line motivates me to say that the primary road or way to freedom and eventually to authentic faith is the awareness of self. To be aware or to know one’s self deeply is very important indeed for it is in this way that a person knows how to recognize his uniqueness and in a way put a gap between the negatives and positives in him. More so, it is in this manner that he learns how to determine which should be done and should not be for him to grow in faith.
I do agree with what Gallagher has said that to be free I must be aware of what is happening in me for this would help me to an integral acceptance of myself. I could only continue my steps toward a true freedom and to a mature faith if I have already known myself deeply and have sincerely accepted the truths within me not excluding my fears, difficulties, limitations, and tensions.
Undeniably, the evasion to my real self would be block to my personal journey to faith and would hinder me to emancipate and liberate myself from the bondages and chains of unfreedom and falsity. Hence, what is needed is the braveness to accept even the pains of knowing the truths in me.
In other words, to be free is to be on the right track or to live in truth. It is in this freedom or in this truth that a total submission and a free willing to believe and trust in God are possible.
But then again, every journey has to start from its beginning. Gallagher has said that I have to know my inner self first to begin my journey to faith. But the question is; how to do it or in what way or by what means do I know myself?
These were the residues and remainders that stormed me after I read the article. Though at first glance such questions would appear simple and answerable even by mere articulation but to me it’s worth-reflecting.
After a brief period of reflection a short line from one of the songs of Mudvayne comes into my head which goes; “truth can be known only in silence...” As for me, this in some way answers my questions. And I would like to add the last word with prayer.
Being a seminarian and as far as my simple experiences are concern, these words resonate to me much and I could really affirm that silence and prayer aid us to listen to our deep longings, motivations, tendencies, difficulties, fears, etc. Moreover, it is also through constant communication with God that we know ourselves better and the things and plans He wants us to do.
Hence, I could say that the article has truly checked myself as to where am I now in my journey to faith and helped me find whether I’m beginning on the right starting point on my journey to faith or not. Further, this article reminds me of the value of prayer as a prerequisite that I must own and give importance both as an expression of my faith in God and a way of strengthening my faith.
As my last words of reflections, I could finally say that I as a seminarian aiming to become a priest must be molded and try to become a man of faith first so that in the coming days of my ministry I could have the worth to evoke the faith of the people.